Christmas Wrapping

Happy Holidays All! Did you make merry? I know I did on several occasions. The holiday season is a very inspirational time for me. I am constantly surprised at the behavior of my fellow human beings. I like to refer to the behavior change as, “Tis the Season of My Moral Superiority.” How do I know certain individuals feel morally superior, because they don’t hesitate to tell me just how morally superior they are in comparison to me. Oh and by the by, I am not made of wood. I have feeling. No, that’s not a type-o. I said feeling. You see I only have one feeling left in my little wooden heart. All the rest were killed by the callous comments of others over the course of my lifetime, so go easy will you. I have a sense of humor. That’s does not qualify as mean spirited. If you think I am mean spirited, well you obviously have a very large bug up your ass. I recommend lots of holiday cocktails to free yourself of that particular infestation.
     Small children make the holidays fun and can cure most of your festive blues. If you don’t have or know any, go rent some, they are terrific. I took an open-air train ride around the base of a mountain in twenty-degree weather to see Christmas lights. I held my 3-year-old niece on my lap. We were bundled up and wrapped in a blanket, but I didn’t really feel that cold. She and I  had a blast, and I was sober. That’s saying something folks, trust me.  
     Bell ringers say what you really feel. I worry that most of you guys will have ulcers by the end of the season. I mean you let me slide when I enter a store because you assume that I’ll give on the way out. When I exit and I don’t donate that bless you or Merry Christmas always sounds like you mean something else. I know you want to say, “Hey, you pagan tightwad I bet the poor would like an I Pod.” Please call me out on it, call everyone out on it. None of us has a good excuse and it would be entertaining for all concerned. Imagine having to really think outside the box during the season of mass consumerism. I can’t go to the mall until I have a good explanation for not giving to the poor. The unprepared would either stand there tongue-tied or scurry off to their cars in shame. I’m giddy with just the thought of such exchanges. Damn, I might just be mean spirited.