Free writing and Sex

Today in my creative writing class, we were instructed to perform some free writing exercises. We had 30 seconds to make a list of the 10 most important things or events in our life, and then 15 seconds to cross out all of them with the exception of one. We were then instructed to free write for a couple of minutes about last thing on our list. Here’s where the fun comes in. I had two things left on my list. My professor said hurry strike out one more. The last two items were sex and being published. Mind you, I struck out my birth, marriage, falling in love and meeting my father (whole other blog topic). Shockingly, I struck out publishing for sex. I guess I can deal with not being published but no sex. What kind of life is that? So, I’m left with sex…except I can’t write for a couple minutes about sex in a classroom full of people. I find myself saying stuff like how can I write erotica if I can’t free write on sex for a couple freakin minutes.

Today I learned that I’m not comfortable writing about sex in a room full of people. What does that say about me? Am I an anti exhibitionist or something? I must say I’m a little surprised at me and a little pissed. I’m supposed to be a writer and I threw my livelihood away for some make believe nookie. Now I feel like I’m not serious about my craft and some sort of weird frigid. I figure I gotta do something to make this right. I’ve decided to write something really sexy, hell downright pornographic. Should it be a biographical piece or just some erotic fantasy of mine? Oh yeah, I got it now, there was this one time that I just …wait. I don’t think it’s the right time for me to blog something like that here. It’s too soon, you understand don’t you? Maybe next time when you come to my blog I’ll have something special for you. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. Well, maybe I did, I’m a writer and a big old tease!