Sheff

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Saturday, August 30, 2008

David Duchovny's sex disorder and why life is brutally unfair.



David Duchovny is addicted to sex? Who knew and why is it that me and singer/musician Bree Sharpe are the last to know? Bree had a hit song based on her love for Duchnovy where she asks, David Duchonovy why don’t you love me. Little did we know that Mr. Duchonovy was a lot freer with his person than either of us suspected. In light of the fact, that I too have had a crush on this guy for years. Hell, I thought he was hot even when he was dressed in drag on Twin Peaks.



This is information I could have used years ago. If I had known Duchovny was such an easy mark I really would have tried harder. I’m pissed at the so called investigative journalism in this country. First, they totally drop the ball on the Bigfoot in Georgia thing and now this. Seriously, switch the focus from Britney Spears for just a moment will you. Because of the media’s lackadaisical approach to celebrity news, I feel that I, and many other women, have missed an opportunity; the chances to have David Duchonvy actually love me. Life is so unfair.

According to the story by Jill Serjeant, Duchovny announced Thursday that he was voluntarily entering rehab after years of denying that he had a problem.
Okay, who did he deny this to, not me, I can tell you that (she said bitterly).
The story goes on to say that the American Psychiatric Association does not formally recognized sex addiction as a "diagnosable disorder."

This part of the story makes sense to me because if liking sex is a disorder then I’m totally mad and if the idea of sex with David Duchovny is a problem, well lock me up.
In the article, an addiction specialist, Dr. Steve Echel states, “The concept of sexual addiction is a controversial one and that's because it is difficult to define."

I don’t agree with Dr. Echel because I can define this so called addiction fairly easily. Sexual addiction: I like me some nookie when I’m depressed. Pretty much sums it up for me.



The next little quote from Serjeant’s story sort of threw me. “Sexual health experts estimate that about 3-5 percent of Americans have the disorder, including women.”

These numbers seemed a little low to me. Based on what? Which experts? Who did they survey, fundamentalist Republicans? And what’s this including women crack? Geez, we get blamed for male bad behavior all the time. Ooooo, I’m so sorry I tempt you. Then when it comes to enjoying sex we aren’t supposed to. The including women comment confirms that the generally accepted belief is that when it comes to enjoying sex women are somehow excluded.

I don’t know about the rest of the ladies out there, but I’ve spent most of life getting dolled up, smiling politely, and pretending to care about sports because I have zero interest in scoring with a guy. Yes, that’s sarcasm.

Here’s another gem of a quote from the same article,

“According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms range from rampant promiscuity to spending hours looking at pornography and using sex to escape from problems such as depression or stress. It is often accompanied by secrecy and shame, and sufferers have difficulties with emotional intimacy.”

DUH! Sort of sounds like the Sunday morning after the Saturday night doesn’t it? Be honest now, how many times have you called that special person you woke up with honey, baby, or sweetie because you don’t remember their name? And who doesn’t use sex to relieve stress and depression? Doesn’t it beat going to the gym?
Some guy from the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles is quoted as saying, “The Internet has provided a level of access (to pornography) that was previously unavailable. So many people have this problem and the Internet has driven that.”

Yeah, for the internet! What I want to know is what chat room was Duchovny in and how did I miss him. Damn! Look this would not be my first choice of contact but given the price gas and the distance between me and Los Angeles I’ll take want I can get. Cyber love is better than no love at all.

Poor Tea Leoni not only is she married to a hot guy that millions of women want to have sex with, but now hubbie has publicly placed a bulls eye on his crotch by announcing, “Hey I’d like to sex with all of them too. Did I mention the name of the rehab center where I’ll be working out my problem? I want to be sure to include the visiting hours in my announcement because I have so many cousins who may want to visit (wink, wink).”


The article concludes with a description of therapy and treatment and claims that some medications used in the treatment of “disorder” cause a reduction in libido.

Psst, David don’t take the blue pill.

Sadly, the article ends with the warning that relapse is common given the difficulty in giving up sex for the rest of one’s life.
Halleluiah! At least there an up side to this story.