Sheff

Sheff
Sheff

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Compound Nightclub in Atlanta, Ga Sucks!!!!!!

Hi All,
I’ve been away for a while. I don’t have any good excuses for my absence. Well, maybe I do, but I’m not sharing. Anyway, I promised to trash a place of business and I want to be as good as my word, so here goes. Recently, I was in Atlanta, Georgia on (let’s say) business. After a lovely dinner with friends, we decided to go out for some fun. Fun was difficult to come by. First, we tried to play poker. Alas, the gaming started an hour before we arrived and we couldn’t get in on the action. To be honest, no one in this place looked like they were having any fun. The bartender agreed that there was no fun to be had in his establishment. The clientele were excessively serious especially considering that they weren’t playing for money. We left. Following the bartender’s advice, we hit the clubs downtown.
We arrived at a club called Swinging Richard’s. I didn’t know what kind of place this was and the naked dancing men was a pleasant surprise. Literally, Richard’s were a swinging. It was not too shabby until we were declined admittance to a private room for private dances. We were informed that the management did not allow their dancers to dance privately for women. Now some people were getting private dances. They were the male patrons. Sexism pisses me off!!!!!!!!!!! Hence, we left.
Out of habit, I do research before hitting a city. I read that the Compound was rated the #1 nightclub in Atlanta. I suggested we try that club in search of fun. Well folks, it was not any fun. In fact, it sucked from the moment we hit the door. Apparently, there is more than one entrance to this club. The one we approached was the VIP entrance. To enter through this door cost an additional $30. The door attendant told me it was well worth the price (wink, wink). I decided to let it go. We went in through the peasant’s door. Immediately, I lost my tour guides. As a result, I was left to explore this cavernous club on my own. The music is the same mind numbing crap that you find in any dance club. The club is over priced, generic and God awful dull.
I tried to find a bathroom. I asked some bouncers (sorry, I mean floor managers) where the ladies was located. They directed me to a door with numerous men going in and out. Hey guys! I said I wanted the ladies room. I was told that the bathrooms in this area of the club were unisex. Wow, I thought that concept died in the 1980’s. I was afraid that I had somehow managed to enter a time warp. Fuck is Regan president! Someone please kill me. Look fellows, if I don’t want to piss with men where do I go. You guessed it, the VIP area. I mean why else would you pay the big bucks. Now, I’m really pissed. At this point Shef went on a rant. Journalist, rip you a new one in print, blah, blah, blah, let me into your lily-white VIP pisser. This worked and got to pee with a nice journalist from a magazine that I won’t mention. She said her company frequently used the club. She was honest in her assessment of the place so, I will respect her anonymity. From the bathroom, I proceeded through the club looking for the people I came with.
Finally, after what seemed like hours I settled on to the cheap sofa of an abandon VIP viewing station. It appears that the elite like to watch the great-unwashed dance, but don’t like to socialize with them. Bored and very tired I lay my head down and waited to be found by my friends. Sincerely, everyone should employ this technique at least once in your lifetime. I guarantee you will be dumbstruck by how quickly you will be noticed. A speedy reunion with my lost companions followed. You can’t do this, be thrown out, do you want to reserve this area further. No, snotty server I do not. You see this VIP is bored and wants to leave your (at best elitist, at worst racist) nightclub. The last thing I did in Compound was to drop the velvet ropes and liberate the VIP viewing area. Dance comrades, dance, and enjoy the cheap champagne and stinky sofa once reserved only for the aristocracy. My work was done.
I still can’t get my head around a couple things about Atlanta. 1) I cannot go into strip club featuring women dancers unless a male escorts me. 2) I can go into a club featuring male strippers unescorted but I cannot have men dance privately for me. 3) I am expected to get partially nude and pee with men in a dance club. Does this seem right to you? Well anyway the Compound Nightclub in Atlanta, Georgia Sucks!!! I swear the place qualifies as one of Dante’s rings of HELL.
This weekend I am more than happy to spend in my little house among the trees, drinking wine, listening music and writing. Bye for now. Love, Shef.